My little bundle turned 6 last
December and suddenly she seems to be a little adult of her own. Nidhi always
had clarity on what she wanted to do and what she did not (well, as a 2.5 year
old she said she did not want to leave me and go to school, everyday till I
heard her and said alright, I hear you and pulled her out of school). And so as we were planning our trip to
Mumbai to visit my mom, my brother and my sis-in-law, and their pet dog
Pebbles, Nidhi said she wanted to stay back with them. She kept saying that she
wants to come back only for a few days and go back and continue to stay with
them for a longer period of time, until my mom came to stay with us!
So in mid March we reached Mumbai
and she continued to stick by her decision. Everyday, I would ask her if she
was sure she wanted to say back, in which case I needed to cancel her return
ticket and she would tell me that she wanted to stay back. The way she bonded
with everyone – her uncle/aunt (mama/mami), her patti, and pebbles just left me
in awe. Especially her affection and attachment with Pebbles. And finally 2
days before our return journey, I cancelled her ticket.
For a very short while, just
before Yukti and I were about to leave Nidhi felt a little sad about having to
stay back without me. She told me so clearly – “amma, I want to be with you, I
want to be in Sholayoor, but I also want to be here with patti, mama, mami in
Mumbai. I don’t know what to do. But I know I have to stay back because you
cancelled my ticket and asked me before doing it.” My heart broke. How
articulate she was yet again! She has always amazed me with her clarity as a
child, and she continues to do so! She
asked to be read, sitting next to me, cuddled up. And we read a few stories.
Just an hour before we left.
And for that short while I
wondered if I had made the right decision by canceling her return ticket with
us, and whether she would be ok if I left her behind. Just sitting there with
her, hugging her, allowing her to experience her sadness fully and allowing
myself to experience my inner chaos fully in my embrace with her, eased
everything.
And as I left with Yukti that
night from Mumbai, she said a beautiful bye – Bye Amma, hugging me and yukti so
beautifully and joyfully. And without saying anything more, she conveyed she
would be fine and actually have a lot of fun. And what fun she is having, in
the presence of three wonderful adults – her mami, mama, and patti, and
wonderful Pebbles. My daughter has grown and come of her own. I feel joy and a
tinge of sadness underlying all of which is a deep well of affection for this
wonderful soul who has found her way into our lives. Blessed are we and I pray
for the universe to guide us to do right by her.
And thanks to mama, mami, peblu
and patti for being the ones with whom Nidhi has spent her first long time away
from her parents. You are special for her. And for us too J. She has a special place
for a) her patti who tells her stories to no end, and does not hesitate to go
on until late night telling stories, b) For her mami who is always enthusiastic
to do craft, art, hand work, games, walks, you name it, everything under the
sun and who spends hours baking, crafting, gaming, books, watching videos, chatting,
teaching her reading/writing/math, pedicure, manicure, mehendi, gardening, and
so on. Nidhi and her mami remind me of two children having a lot of fun,
playing, fighting at times, but always making up since the fun is more
important than the fights J
Two friends of yore J.
And for mama who is special because he is amma’s only brother and her only
mami’s only husband ;-) And for all the trips they plan, the hikes, the
resorts, the food and everything else that a summer vacation is made of. For
Pebbles who is her companion. Words cannot express the bond they share!
And when Nidhi comes back from
Mumbai, there is going to be a special post in her own words about the time she
spent in Mumbai. So watch out for that J
