I think one of the things that is the highlight of Nidhi's last year is her obsession with dance and the characters. Every dance there is at least one female character that she connects with and wants to go say hi/bye to her. And every villainous character daunts her. The change in the tone of the music and she knows something sad is about to happen. She is very sensitive to the moods depicted on stage. And in a year just by watching she has picked up many many steps and moves and the rhythms. It is almost like her life revolves around music, dance and movement. But she enjoys other things to. Being silly, playing with her sister, on the sand, in water. But when she is watching dance I see her deeper self, so absorbed, engrossed, one with the characters on the stage. There is something there. Today she said she wanted to be dance teacher and also a queen. And she said when i grow up, I will decide. I said, u can decide and you can be more than one too.
Of all the characters she has encountered so far, she connects to Sita very strongly at the moment. Shiva and parvati she likes. But Sita is who she connects to. She feels her joy at being married to rama, her sadness at being forcefully taken by ravana, her longing while she waits for rama, her joy at seeing him, her sadness at rama doubting her, and her joy at finally coming back to Ayodhya as queen, and again the sadness of being separated from Rama, a sense of safety at reaching valmiki's ashram, and the deep anguish when she meets rama again and finally decides to go back to her mother earth. Everytime we read the ramayana and the story of luv and kush, nidhi cries, has questions to ask. Questions and statements also emerge during the course of the day and in some other conversation. "Why did ravana take her forecefully? it is not ok to do that." "why did rama not want her, and leave her again?", "why did shoorpanaka want to marry rama?", etc. The other day she said when she grows up she wants to change her name to Sita and she wants her husband to change his name to Rama. Simultaneously the idea of marriage is being figured out. This has again been happening for about 8-9 months now. And she is fine-tuning her idea of who she wants to get married to, how she will find who to get married to, etc. My cousin is getting married in a couple of months and she is fascinated by the entire process and is asking her a lot of questions too. So much so that Nidhi feels shy (with a tinge of fear) when she sees my cousin's fiance!
Also trying to figure out the reality or pretended-ness of the characters on stage. What will they do when they go from here? are they really sita or rama? is the mother on stage her real mother? where is her real mother? where will this mother go? etc. Much processing and making sense of the world. No wonder theater, performances, music and dance bring alive what is within us. I am so grateful to Nidhi, because of her I have watched so many dances, dramas and it has brought alive much within me as well. The child in me feels alive. The next step is to start acting with her I think and get on stage :)
At times nidhi wants to dress up, at times she is so totally clued out of her appearance and dress sense :) Unbound energy and spirit children are if we let them be. I am enjoying this phase of her. She is growing up too quickly!
